The Threat of The Unobtrusive

Yet another day working at Barnes & Noble brought with it today, as every day does, an unrepeatable turn of events and moments in time that cause me to ponder. For those who maybe haven't heard me discuss my work in depth, I have been working 7:00-11:00 AM shifts at Barnes & Noble, as I mentioned briefly in my last post. What these shifts consist of is an exercise in tediousness ... shelving. This, when stripped to its basic essentials, means taking specific books off of carts and placing them on the proper shelf where they belong. I'm not complaining. I actually quite enjoy these shelving shifts. By shelving books all around the store I get the opportunity to, sometimes longer than I should, look at the books that are already out on display as well as the ones which I am putting up during my shift. I very much like shelving the "Christian Life" and "Graphic Novel (Comic Book)" sections, but I must be especially careful in those moments to focus on the job at hand, remembering that I am there to work. Perusing is for off time.

As the shift begins I arrive at my first cart that I have been assigned to shelf. Now, it is normally quiet at this stage in the morning, with no music on and not much discussion occurring either. Not very long into the task, my ears perceive an irritating, but not too loud, series of beeps coming from the front of the store. The beeps only lasted for about two seconds, then silence for several more, then the beeps would return. After a mere few minutes, this was quite irksome, as you might expect. As the beeping continued, stopped, started, stopped, started, and stopped I remember thinking two main thoughts: "What could that be?" and "Why isn't someone shutting it off?" This process of consistent annoying sound continued  to trouble me with its unceasing presence for the next 10 minutes or more. Not very long after, certainly less than an hour but greater than 15 minutes, the noise caught my ear again ... but the noise had never left. It was going the whole time, starting, stopping, starting, stopping, starting, etc. Rather than the noise being silenced, something quite different had taken place. I, although entirely unknowingly and unintentionally, had embraced it and my mind had accepted it as "normal". I became comfortable with it.

This example was just a simple noise and a minor aggravation. The scary thing is the thought that came to my mind after I realized what happened with the beeping noises ... I can do the same thing with sin. I speak not of grand and obvious sins. Those sins, any one who has been called by Christ and seeks to follow him daily, are quite clear; and conviction strikes swiftly and surely with them, leaving no room for tolerance. Instead, I am speaking of what can commonly be mistaken as "small sins". If I were to sum up things that God showed me over the course of Bethel's recently-ended 21-day-fast, it would be three different things. The first one was cleaning house. Getting closer to God takes you further from yourself; the very self that lets sin creep in and find a home. As I spent time with God over the fast, He showed me things that I had let into my life, and my very home, that had ... to ... go. I was so moved that I took and got rid of several movies and video games that I once used to permit and enjoy. I got comfortable with them because I didn't do anything about them that first time I allowed them into my life. No different than an irritating beeping were these idols I had let creep into my heart. I got so friendly with these sins that I didn't even realize I was using as entertainment, things that Christ died on the cross to free me from!

"It does not matter how small the sins are provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts," - C. S. Lewis (as Screwtape)

I pray that God would help me to see these sins as He sees them! I can't afford to fight against certain sins and tolerate others. Sin is sin. God doesn't compare it ... I do. I've been so ashamed of sins which I deemed 'worse than others'. This is a lie straight from the father of them in order to bring shame and despair into our hearts. God, I am a sinful man. I'm not better or worse than anyone else. (Romans 3:9, 23) I am sorry for loving sin. Lord, You hate these abominations, I must hate them also. Jesus, may You truly break me. Give me Your eyes and Your heart, so that I don't get comfortable with sin of any kind; but rather let me draw closer to You, knowing that as I do, You will "make darkness light before me, And crooked places straight."


Brian